Good stuff
Aren't you curious?
Really great prices!
Aren't you gonna check it out?
Going going gone...
Everyone can find a treasure!

Slashing of prices.
Astounding deals!
Lots of infant/children's clothing and toys.
Especially good lemonade sold by a cute 6 year old!

Yep.  This is what is consuming our weekend.  I have never hosted a garage sale before.  We'll see if I ever do it again.  I sat in the rain all day yesterday, thankfully I still had lots of customers and made some cash.  Today is cool and overcast, but the rain is staying away (so far).  It feels good to have cleaned out closets, baby clothes in storage, the kids' toys, books and some furniture.

Sophia is manning a lemonade stand today and even playing her harmonica for tips!  [all her idea]  So far she hasn't earned any tips.  Jamie and I have determined this small town just isn't ready for big city talent.  ;)

The hardest part about the garage sale for me is that talking to all of these strangers is totally out of my comfort zone!  I guess it'll be a growing experience for me.  :)

I am excited to make a few purchases with the money we earn.  We are selling the big high chair and will replace it with a booster seat for Haddie.  I also am selling my old dining chairs and can't wait to replace them!

Sophia willingly is letting me sell a lot of her older books - because I helped her find some newer books that she is now excited to buy with some of our profits!  It's all it the pitch with this girl of mine.

Have you ever had a garage sale?   Do you enjoy running or visiting garage sales??

Sweet Baby Boy

My dear sister gave birth to her second child, Benjamin Monroe, at 5 pm on Monday.  I got to drive to the hospital tonight to meet him - finally!  Instantly I thought he looked just like his Daddy.  I fell in love with him instantly and look forward to getting to know him as he grows.  I also look forward to seeing my kids play with him.  Almost seven years ago the first grandchild was born - Sophia - and now there are five!  

 Isn't he a sweet bundle of goodness?

 Those cheeks - my oh my!

 Big sister Cora came by while I was visiting.  She walks in going, "Baby Ben, Baby Ben."

I think she's loving her new brother but her feelings toward Mommy and Daddy are a bit up in the air right now.  ;)

 David, my great brother-in-law, holding his new son.

 My beautiful sister, me, and one baby who didn't want to smile for the picture. 

:)

Jeni,

I am so proud of you.  I know how hard this pregnancy was and how much you had to overcome to redeem your birth experience with Cora.  You are such an amazing woman and I am so thankful that the Lord gave you the birth story He did with Benjamin.  I am so happy for you and David.  God has blessed you with two beautiful children and I look forward to continuing walking this journey of motherhood alongside you.

I love you.

Do you believe in The Jinx?

I honestly used to wonder.  I mean, I knew there wasn't, but it sure seemed like there was sometimes.  You know how it seems to go - things are going along swimingly and so you share the good news,  "Life should be really hard right now, but I am coping sooo well!  Isn't that great?  Praise the Lord, He is so good!"  and...

BAM

... as soon as those words are uttered, or written, it seems like everything comes crashing down, and all of a sudden your coping skills don't seem to even be present.  

Sure feels like you jinxed yourself.  At least, this has been my experience.  Can you relate?

Well, sure enough, just this week I sent a message on facebook to some of my faraway girlfriends.  I was sharing with them some updates on my life and explaining how in awe of, and thankful to, the Lord I was for helping me cope with some less than ideal life circumstances.  And wouldn't you know it, the very next day life seemed to crumble before my eyes.  My ability to cope went from 10 to zero and I was fighting all the feelings and emotions I'd just claimed to have no struggle with.

I felt jinxed.  

But, then the Lord started (or, most likely, continued) His work.  He began whispering to my soul.  He revealed to me a truth I had never fully considered before.  He showed me that though life felt jinxed right now, in fact there was a much more powerful and deadly force at work than a little 'ol jinx.  

And the LORD said to Satan, "From where do you come?" So Satan answered the LORD and said, "From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking back and forth on it."    Job 1:7

Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  1 Peter 5:8

I am not a stranger to spiritual warfare.  And yet, I have always, rather flippantly, given The Great and Mighty Jinx credit for situations like I described above, rather than to whom deserved the credit, my enemy, Satan.  He hates any glory being given to God, so when life is already challenging, but God is giving me the victory over the circumstances, and then I give a shout out to God - it makes sense that Satan would attack.  I mean, he doesn't have to try very hard.  Life is already really difficult and hanging by a thread.  He starts to whisper lies that I slowly start to buy into, and all of a sudden my eyes are off of Jesus and focused on my circumstances and 

it

all

falls

apart.

No, I did not jinx myself this week, but, I did fall prey to Satan's wiles and repentance is needed.  God is so gracious and loving.  I am thankful this week for the time He took to teach my heart these truths and for giving me the faith to believe.  

To God be the glory, great things He has done.

Haddie Anne

 You fall asleep in your high chair more than your sister or brother ever did.  It is always so sweet.

People remark a lot about how quiet you are and stoic (i.e. nursery volunteer at church might say, "She was good.  She was so quiet and didn't smile or anything.").  This always makes me chuckle because I have heard you scream when you don't get your way or if your brother or sister are doing something you don't like.  You may be tiny, but you are mighty!  You also have the best smile and laugh, but you don't just dole them out for anyone.  Your favorite book is full of real-life babies making funny faces.  It makes you giggle so much!  I've never seen a one-year-old able to say so much with her expressions.  You often look perturbed or put out with a simple look.  It's cute and funny, now... but I guess we'll be working on that one before too long.  :)

You LOVE to climb!  One day I found you at the top of the bunk bed ladder.  You also like to climb chairs, slides, the rock wall on our play set... basically anything and everything that can be climbed, you will try to climb!

Last week you went to the doctor for an ear ache and weighed in at 18 pounds.  You still wear a size 3 diaper and are in 12 mos. clothes.  I distinctly remember your sister hitting 20 pounds around 9 months.  Riley was about the same.  To think that you are almost 15 months and still so tiny is so different for me, but I love it too.  I'm glad you gained a couple of pounds.  I have no doubts you are healthy, just petite!

You love your brother and sister so much and love to try and do everything they can do.  Recently you've loved getting in your brother's bed and laying there before bedtime.  It is SO cute to see you two cuddling and looking at books.  The quiet play never lasts long though and I usually have to rescue you from your overly rambunctious brother and his rough-housing ways.

You are on the verge of speaking.  You've said a couple words once or twice.  Nothing super consistent yet, but I know it's coming!  Mommy though, you definitely have that one down!  It's pretty cute to hear you calling for me, "Mommy!  Mommy!"  I love your little voice.  You win some brownie points because your brother only grunted at me until after his 2nd birthday!  :)

I love you Hadassah Anne.  Jesus truly blessed Daddy and me with a gift when He gave you to us.  I pray you serve Him in big and mighty ways as your grow.  

what a night!

 Last night was ROUGH!  Jamie was away for the night so I was flying solo.  Hadassah took a long time to get down to sleep.  I think it was 10p before she finally gave up and fell asleep.  I dragged my night owl self to bed around 11p and was sleeping somewhere around 11:30p.  At just past midnight Haddie woke up screaming.  I went to get her and she was inconsolable.  Nothing would make her calm down.  She was flailing around and straightening her back in such a way that it was almost impossible to hold her.  Finally she started settling down.  To make a long story short, she didn't fall back to sleep until almost 8 in the morning.  Yes, that's right, she and I stayed up all night.

I made it through that only because Jesus was with me.  I think back to those long eight hours, and don't really know how I managed.  But, I did.  I am thankful the Lord kept me calm and awake.

I could tell Haddie was in pain.  She was picking a lot at her ear so I was thinking maybe an ear infection.  I also knew she was cutting some teeth.  Unfortunately I couldn't find the baby tylenol anywhere.  At one point I knew she needed the pain relief it could provide and I called out to the Lord, and you know what?  He led me right to the tylenol!  

I called Jamie about 20 times throughout the night, but the thing about my sweet hubby, he is HARD to wake up!  It usually requires some sort of physical assault, so I wasn't surprised he never answered.  At one point though, I was so desperate to talk to him, I think it was about 4am... I hit send once again and started screaming/sobbing at the phone, "Pick up the phone Jamie!  Pick up!"  Yeah, it didn't work.  :)

God kept whispering to my soul though that He was with me and though it would be comforting to talk to Jamie, it would be comforting to lean into the Lord too.  That helped me a lot!

I called my mom at some point in the night, crying.  I remember doing that shortly after Sophia was born and I was trying to nurse her and it wasn't going so well.  Mom's are good like that.  She of course answered and offered to come right away.  I told her that wasn't necessary, but would love to see her around 8am!  :)  Later I found out Mom and Dad thought it was my sister calling to say she was in labor.  :)  

My sweet Mom showed up at 8 am, about 10 minutes after Haddie zonked out.  I was able to sleep for about four combined hours before taking her to the doctor.

Haddie's doc wasn't in today so we saw the nurse practitioner.  She said Haddie's left ear looked great but that she couldn't get a good look at Haddie's right ear because there was some wax blocking the view.  She tried to gently remove it but couldn't.  So... Haddie had to get her ear irrigated.

A super sweet nurse came in, had me lay Haddie on the exam table and put about two full dixie cup's worth of warm water in her ear, one syringe at a time, letting it drain each time.  Finally the wax came out.  EW!  That's all I'll say.  Haddie seemed instantly more relaxed.

The nurse and I needed help holding Haddie down during the irrigation and another woman came in to help.  She was so sweet trying to sing to Haddie and talking to her the whole time.  I come to find out she's one of the other Ped's in the practice.  How cool is that, that she lent a helping hand like that?  That really impressed me.

The nurse practitioner came back and said Haddie's inner ear/eardrum looked fine, but that her ear canal was inflamed and irritated from the wax.  She prescribed ear drops to help it heal.  

As I was checking out the nurse came by and gave Haddie a book and tried to hold her.  I think she felt bad for "torturing" her with the ear irrigation.  I thought that was super sweet and was again impressed by the sincere care we were receiving.

So, Haddie went straight to bed by 6:30 tonight and hasn't made a peep, aside from being woken by her brother... but that's a different story.  :)  I expect we'll all sleep well tonight!  

Feeling super tired, but thankful.  

Goodnight.

Sweet Sophia

Every time I remember that Sophia is 6 1/2 I stop short.  I look at Riley and vividly remember her at his age.  I look at Haddie and the same thing happens.  There are times I miss Sophia being those ages, but mostly I am LOVING this stage.  Early school-age is so fun.  Not only is Sophia full of energy, but she is bursting with creativity, imagination and playfulness.  She loves to learn, she loves to play, she loves to create, she loves to be active and she also loves videos and computer games. She is my cuddle-bug.  If I even suggest skipping bedtime cuddles she is reduced to a pile of sincere sobs.  She also loves becoming more independent.  It is always a treat for her to be able to prepare some sort of food or do some sort of cleaning project (not normal cleaning, mind you, like picking up toys, but "fun" cleaning, like mopping or cleaning windows).  

Some recent things I don't want to forget...

Jamie was out of town last week for a bit and when he returned she wrote him a welcome home card.  She drew a stamp on the envelope and drew a limo inside the card.  She went on to explain that she wants to go on a daddy-daughter date to this fun salon for little girls, that has a pink limo for birthday parties!

***

As Jamie was leaving for work Monday morning she tucked her pink purse, full of change, into his work bag.  She said to me, "I know it's not much, but I thought it could help."  

I was the recipient of a card today!  Sophia was acting very mysterious and asking if we had any stamps.  I told her, no, we didn't.  I asked who she wanted to mail a letter to and she refused to tell me!  I resisted the urge to "make" her tell me, as I'm learning that as Sophia gets older it's important to allow her times of secrecy and privacy.  I knew this was a safe secret she could keep, so I let her keep it.

Eventually she asked me to write our address down for her.  I did and off she went to finish her card.

It was for me.  :)  The envelope was addressed perfectly.  And the card was so sweet.

I especially love the "eye" "heart" "u."  I used to always write "I love you" like that and it's fun to see that she's doing that now.

Parenting changes as your child grows.  Their needs become different and their boundaries widen and trust between parent and child become SO important.  Not only is she learning how important it is to preserve my trust in her by making good choices and never lying to me, but I have to be so careful to preserve her trust in me by doing, and meaning, what I say.

Sometimes I feel like I am learning how to be a parent all over again, as this stage seems so different in many regards than the infant, toddler and preschool years.  But, having a kid like Sophia who loves big and plays hard makes it all worth it!

what is on my mind

 swinging in her p.j.s, wind whipping through her hair, toes flying in the breeze

it's the little moments, the adding up of sweet memories,

that make a childhood memorable

hopeful and prayerful that my "angry mom" days do not stick out in the forefront of my children's eyes

relishing in this boy's eyes, hugs, cuddles, nightly routine of "knock knock, who's there," sweet kisses and soft "i love yous"

someday, he will break my heart

i love him so

 laughing at my sweet girl's desire to make every moment in life funny and carefree

she takes after her auntie in her love of making silly faces for the camera

she asked about getting her ears pierced

how did she grow so tall

so smart

so old

?

working on maintaining our level of honesty and closeness so as the days grow longer

our hearts can knit closer

as her nighttime trips to my bed because she's scared begin to cease

i pray she still seeks me out in those moments of fear and wonder

may her tender heart trust her mama and come

may she know she can always come

and be received

God sent this sweet baby bird to our yard the other day

he/she sat upon this branch, nestled in the evergreen tree

and stayed, perched and watching

as we played

it never flew away

God loves this bird

so much more does he love you

and me

 there is beauty in the refiner's fire

the heat burns

but it also warms

the flame can be fierce

but also mesmerizing

My Refiner's Fire

he asks me to come

and he will always receive

i tell my children the Truth

but do i really believe?

this is my burden in the night

He makes all things new

every day

every moment some days

i struggle to receive the new

i cling to the old like a slave out of egypt

i have judged that freed slave so many times

i am just the same

***

my four babies 

that i cannot hold

they are my pain

their loss was so much my gain

He brought me to Him 

because He took them to Himself

how can i love him for that?

how can i not?

a mother is supposed to sacrifice for her children

her children are not supposed to be the sacrifice for their mother

but they were

they are

but, i suppose He knows how that feels

His Son lives

and my children

they do too

and yet,

i keep Him at arms' length

when the feeling gets to heavy

when the searching goes too deep

i fear the pain i might find

and so i don't go

i stay in this awful place of mediocrity and shallow waters

it empties my soul

it does not feed

He calls me to feast and i am content to pick at the crumbs

i have played the fool

He loves me

oh, how He loves me

why do i refuse?

i 

need

to

trust

i 

need

to

come

i 

need 

to 

be 

received

and i will

oh, how i will

if i would but come

My God, My Savior

please, don't ever stop burning within

give me the strength to come

to be received

to be fed

to be whole

to be free

***