From the Depths of the Earth

"From the depth of the lowest point on Earth, from a genuine ancient spring of youth, Deep Sea Cosmetics Laboratories has created a natural formula rich in Dead Sea minerals, aromatic oils and herbal extracts for your health and beauty." - and I am the shameful proud owner of the above described natural formula rich in Dead Sea minerals...

Listen, I'd been shopping for two days, and for a girl like me - who really does not like shopping, especially mall shopping, I was exhausted, my senses were numbed. Usually when I spot the mall kiosk folks, waiting in the aisle of the mall, ready to rub you with lotion, straighten your hair, or pluck your eyebrows (or what-have-you), my habit is to lower my head and walk as far from the person as possible (it's all about avoiding eye and physical contact). For some reason, as I approached the Kiosk Gauntlet, laden with shopping bags, hurrying to meet Jamie so I could feed Haddie... I made two cardinal sins. I made eye contact and I accepted the plea to try some lotion.

At first I foolishly figured I could stay in control and make a getaway any time I wanted. But, as the minutes passed, and the "deal" being offered kept getting sweeter and sweeter, I became totally delusional and - GASP - actually purchased the product being offered! Most of the details are foggy, and little did I know Jamie was watching all this transpire as I was in his direct line of vision, just a few hundred feet away. By the time I did get away and made my walk of shame towards Jamie he was laughing hysterically! He still can't believe I succumbed to the Mall Kiosk!

The gentleman making the sale started by demonstrating his product to me. The best moment was when he was buffing my nail with the third side of the buffer and did a "One... Two... Three - MAGIC!" reveal. Yes, that is what he actually said! :)

Next came the price haggling I didn't even know I was doing. I said no to the first price offered, so he said I could have a two-for-one deal. When I still said no he so graciously offered me the same price he paid (note the tongue in my cheek)! A ONE TIME DEAL, FOR ME ONLY! REALLY!!! :) [while regaling this tale to Jamie he was laughing so hard because he had just witnessed some other woman getting her nails buffed and being offered the same ONE TIME DEAL, FOR HER ONLY! :)]

At least the product I bought is actually something I'll use (and have) and it does do what it promises, so that is all good. Here is what it is:

Nail file, cuticle cutter thingy, cuticle oil, special 4-sided buffer and lotion.

Thankfully using this product does not make one look like this! :)

Part of the "deal" was that I could return at anytime within two years to receive a free replacement buffer. When I was handed the above receipt, on which there were only a few hardly visible numbers, I frankly asked, "How will this get me a replacement buffer?"

The solution?

The salesman scrawled his name on the back and wrote "35% face," which means, apparently, I'll be eligible for 35% off of their facial products should I return.

Here are my nice, smooth, shiny nails. All one must do is buff, oil and lotion. No chemicals and it really does make your nails look like they've been clear polished. It was actually fun to do a little nail pampering. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! :)

Have you ever succumbed to a Mall Kiosk offer or product??